Listen…

The best thing we can give to others is our pure undivided attention. Listening is one of the few lost arts of today. Whether we are on the phone or on a one to one conversation, we are constantly going yappity yappity yap. Do we really think before we speak, are we so full of ourselves that we cannot even bear to hear out the other person?  All we ever speak is about ourselves…I did this and I did that and I experienced this and I experienced that. Even If we’ve listened to the other person for ten seconds we immediately butt in with a similar experience or if haven’t had something like that we want him/her to shut up. Most of us are so busy talking that we hardly hear what the other person is saying. Hearing is not listening, to listen you need to pay attention, you need to understand what is being said. Even if our mouths are shut we are never paying attention to the speaker rather are busy framing answers conjuring up something to say.

The greatest and the most wonderful people I have met….listen. They listen very carefully to all you have to say with an occasional “Hmmm” and “yes I agree”. They ask relevant questions and empathise with you. They never offer advice unless specifically asked for and make you feel good at the end of the conversation. These kind of people are few and one rarely happens to come across a good listener.  I am trying to be one but it is really difficult. The act of carefully listening to the other person without going… “yes this happened to me too” or “you know this is what you could do” or “you know what I think” requires immense patience and self-restraint. I’ve realised, I often get bored when I am not the one doing all the talking. Taking a genuine interest in another person’s point of view and expressing concern or happiness depending on the situation is what I really need to do.

“When you speak you only repeat what you know but when you listen you might learn something new”                                                                                                                                              – Dalai Lama